El Talisman - Beware the Ides of March (or If you think you're the emperor don't turn your back on anyone)

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Recap by Anita, Editor In Chief of the Fresno Underground Gazette

Scenes in Tijuana—Pedro & Camila spend some quality time on the sofa in the church office. They go together to visit Sister Luciana’s grave. They promise her that they will return to TJ to open a Casa de Huerfanos.

Aunt Pat calls Pedro to tell him that Lukrazy was arrested for attempted homicide. Pedro and Cam natter on about Lukrazier. They find out the Mariana phone call came from a public phone in Fresno. Camila thinks that Mariana is very close to being able to be found (think, girl, think about it some more…). The Padre comes running up to tell the pair that someone in TJ will buy ALL of El Tal’s grano. Yippee, no bancarota for Pedro.

Scenes at Rita’s—Renato gets the money (it was in the fridge). He lets Tracy go, but hedges about leaving her and her familia en paz. She’ll just have to trust him. With nowhere to go, Tracy goes to see Panchito at El Al.

Scenes in El Alcat—The girls are nattering on about boyfriends. Panchito and Valentin natter on about whose side Valentin is on and oh-ho, Pancho has had his eye on him and he’s onto him, he KNOWS he’s on Antonio’s side (woe be to him now). Valentin tries to show him the logic behind his decision—Antonio is younger and healthier while Gregorio is old and sick. Uh-uh, says Panchito, WRONG.

Panchito leaves Valentin with a warning—make up your mind whose side you are going to be on, and make it up quick. If you choose Antonio, rest assured Panchito will tell the patron on you.

Panchito and Tracy come to an acuerdo—she will not share his digs, although they obviously need a woman’s touch. Panchito uses his influence with Greggy and gets her old job back. There’s lots of squealing when he tells her.

Oh, somewhere in the midst of all this a lovely leg protrudes from a vast bubble bath, what can we hope? Oh, shoot, it’s Brigitte taking a phone call from Greggo wanting to know wassup with Lucas.

Back to Panchito. Daddy-O tells him to get over to El Tal quick as a bunny to find out if LuLu really is going to give part of the ranch to Pedro (Greggy, my friend, you don’t need to worry about this just yet…she is going to do this, how? what’s the hurry, anyway). So, Gregorio doesn’t know LuLu went to jail. Alberta and Tracy natter on about Antonio and the rancho.

Scenes in El Tal—Lucrazie natters on to Claudio about Flo and how it’s all going to work out. Later, Clau, Gab & Sara natter on about the Mariana phone calls. Sara thinks it was a set up engineered by Lucrezzi. Claudio defends her (duh). They check out La Viejita with the Hon. Detective Teniente. He’s sure that whoever tampered with it didn’t know what they were doing, so instead of cutting the brake line, he (or she) just disabled it. Aunt Pat is sure it was Lukrashia. We see LuLu running around her room trying to hide the infamous pincers. Well, she and the pincers are caught in flagrante delicto and she’s hauled off to jail for some ‘splaining.

Scenes in the Jail—She protests her innocence. It doesn’t phase El Detective, no siree. Rules are rules and he can’t just let her go because she says she’s innocent. She needs to get a lawyer and post bail.

LuLu tries blaming Camila—That zorra is full of jealousy because Pedro has a thing for her. For Pete’s sake (Not our Pedro), officer, she doesn’t even live at El Tal, so how is she going to know where stuff is kept (like pincers). La señorita doth protesta demasiado (are you listening Mr. El D?). Guess so, Our Little Lulu is put away for suspicion of intent to commit a homicide, oh my. She drops her dime on Antonio to get her out of there ASAP.

Antonio visits Sis in jail. Do the writers think this is Mexico, where any old person can come and go and sit in a holding cell with someone accused of attempted homicide? Anyway, they have a rough embrace—ya, glad to see you, too, brylcreme head, but I’m not going to touch it.

Bro warns her not to do anything to Camila, while LuLu doesn’t want anything to happen to Pedro. Quandary—dilemma. El D. tries to pump Tonio about his sister’s past. Tonio finds the line of questioning offensive and doesn’t answer (but he’s running it around his empty head as viewerville is treated to some commercials). We don’t see what he decided because we don’t see him any more tonight.

Finally, Daddy-O has been informed LuLu is in jail and comes to the rescue. He puts things straight. Daughter, you’d better play the game my way or you are going to end up in a manicomio, and I’ll be the one who sends you there. (This is actually the last scene of the evening.)

Scenes in The Only Hotel Inn™ Fresno/Oscar’s Place—Elvira and Armando are nattering on about “the girl” who came to see him. She knows he’s not forthcoming with the truth. He finally spills the beans about the boda being in two days time. The music freaks out; Elvira freaks out.

Armando is invited to the Renato’s mansion (I mean Oscar’s mansion). Renato prepares the staff and prides himself on how easy it is going to be to manipulate mama and her son—and the heck with Camila, he’s not afraid of HER.

Secretario-guy has a hot chisme for Renato—that Camila’s novio, PI Man, murdered his wife, sí, sí, it’s all over town. Meanwhile, Armando’s amazed at all the lujo in the house. Renato’s definitely rich.

Back to Antonio who’s still in bed at the Hotel. Next to him is the little tart who dressed up as Camila for him, but it turns out she’s the same one that provided the voice for Mariana.

The room phone rings. It’s sissy from jail. Antonio is furioso with her. He flings the receiver down--It’s all Pedro’s fault (he uses a disparaging remark to describe Pedro). He throws money at the little tart and tells her to largate, but reverses direction when she reminds him that she is playing Mariana. Great, he has another idea.

Elvira is ready to leave the hotel and runs into Antonio in the lobby. He reminds her that he still OWNS her. It doesn’t matter one whit that she is starting a new life along side her husband-to-be, Renato. Uh-uh, you will live your whole life knowing you are UNA ASESINA. Gulp.

END OF EPISODE