Familia, Friday 3/9/12: Two couples think they're springing forward. Anyone else can see they're falling back.

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Part One: Threats

Pancho & Chela share the world's slowest elevator with Sunkist & Rebe. Sunkist and Rebeca are just waiting for the merger paperwork to be signed. Pancho and Chela try to be polite. By the time they reach the lobby, Rebeca looks sick. Mike knows she's jealous of Chela and he's jealous about her jealousy.

Outside the love nest, Deb threatens Candy before her errand to break up with Vins: "Pancho is crossing town right now in La Burra. Let's hope he doesn't have a mishap."

Crying, Candy tells Concepción that everything is fine.

The Irabiens throw the pillows off the sofa. Fred tells Pina about the offer from UCLA. He doesn't think he'll go. Pina and Ana need him.

At the police station, Chela and Pancho hear Cristián's autopsy results. There were two premortem blows to the head. One from the edge of a piece of furniture, and the other from the candlestick Tomás had wiped down. They can't tell which blow came first. As for the tox report, there was a significant dose of a powerful sedative.

(If Elena had gone to the police that morning, she could have proved that she'd been dosed as well.)

Cristián's wife Carla is brought in for questioning. She insists that someone look in on her kids. Seeing Pancho, she asks him for help. Pancho and Chela say something about Tom. She doesn't know who Tom is. She hasn't been following the case of her husband's murder very closely, I guess. She blames the murder on Elena.

Vice tries to talk to Pina about the merger. Candy calls.

Enzo and Lidia lounge in her hotel room - she in a negligee, he in a bathrobe. Looks like they Did It. Now they are sipping champagne. There's a message on his phone: the signing will be tomorrow morning at ten. He asks Lidia about their future. She asks if he wants her to stay in Mexico. NO! GO AWAY!!

Vice goes to the love nest. Candy says she's marrying Nap. Vice is incredulous and realizes she's being extorted. He assures her that he can take care of himself. "What part of 'I love Napoleon' don't you understand?" Candy insists.

Enzo and Lidia Do It again. Don't make me get the hose, you two! He says he can't ask her to stay; he'd like her to, but it has to be her decision. She says she'll absolve him of the responsibility: she'll stay, but not because of him. Then he gets an urgent call from Vice and has to go.

Candy goes back to Deb, crying. Deb scolds. Next stop: to Pancho.

Pancho and Chela tell the family about their visit to the police station. Pancho says he has an uneasy feeling.

Carla is being interrogated. She denies everything, even being at the hotel. The police detective threatens her with perjury. A hotel employee saw her there, plus there are two videos. She still denies.

Vice and Enzo have an emergency rehash session.

Pina and Fred. The pillows are mysteriously back on the sofa. I guess that's why the family can throw them around with impunity; they regenerate spontaneously. Her sister's death was a reminder of how fragile and mortal we are. She's made a decision - and she's going to tell Fred her secret: Arnold is the man she kissed in Acapulco.

Fred is confused. She doesn't explain Arnold's whole backstory, but says she likes him only as a friend. She's not ready for a relationship yet, but she doesn't want to lose his friendship. Fred advises her to tell Arnold how she feels.

Enzo asks Vins if he loves Candy enough to risk his own life. What if they do something to Fred? Vins goes crazy at the thought.

Candy tells Deb that Pancho's not going to buy her story. Too bad, Deb says she has to go through with it anyway.

Deb calls Nap to give him an update. Vins isn't a fool, but his son just happens to live right next door to the Lopez family. Delighted with this news, Nap tells Deb to pay Fred a visit, just introduce herself and Vins will take the hint.

Candy tells Pancho & family the good news of her impending nuptials with Napoleon.

Meanwhile, Deb goes next door and tells Pina and Fred that she works for Napoleon. Noting Deb's apparent interest in Fred, Pina tells her she's not his "level" and he's too young for her. Deb says sure, well, just came by to say hello. After she leaves, Pina thinks it was very odd. Fred remembers the exploding envelope that came to Vice's office and tells Pina about it.

Candy insists that she's happy and Nap's going to buy her all kinds of stuff. Nobody is completely satisfied with her shallow excuses. As for that incident with the gun a while back, yeah, he was totally sorry about that. Pancho is upset. Candy's resolve cracks a bit and she blurts that she's doing it for them. She runs out.

Deb tells Candy about the visit to Fred.

The police detective tells Carla to get a lawyer. She'll be under house arrest as a suspect in her husband's murder.

Groaning in the prison hospital, Tomás moans that he'll be the happiest man on Earth if he can show Lupita how he feels.

At home, Pancho and Chela surmise that Candy is being pressured by Napoleon.

Fred calls Vins and tells him about Deb's visit. Vins tells him to lock all the doors and windows.

Chela gives Pancho something to eat. She asks, if he had a chance to go back to the way things were before [he took over at Avon], would he do it?

Pancho doesn't care to second-guess his decision, and I, for one, have never liked this side of Chela and hoped she'd gotten past this by now. Oh well. Chela asks does he think it was worth it, sacrificing the happiness and unity of the family. (Seriously? Is she smoking crack?) Pancho says true, they've had some problems, but he's still himself and hasn't failed them as a father or abandoned his values. She asks if he minds if she calls him "Sol." He says she can even call him Luis, and calls her his dear Luna.

Enzo goes home after the emergency rehash session with Vins. He calls Lidia to tell her he won't be going back to her suite tonight after all. She's okay with that. Moni comes home just in time to hear him tell Lidia that he has the greatest daughter in the world.

Then Enzo rehashes with Moni. She notices he got rid of the mustache and he admits he spent some pleasant time with Lidia. And she went to visit Mom at the psychiatric hospital. I'd say one of them had a much better day than the other.

Grandpa Napoleon promises Candy a great night that he's been looking forward to for hundreds of years. Er, I mean several years. She tries to stall, saying it's been a rough day.

Vins goes to Stately Lopez Manor and tells Pancho about Deb's unspoken threat against Fred. Vins wants Pancho to unite with him against Napoleon.

Poor Nap isn't gonna know what hit him.

Part Two: Goodbyes

What Candy needs is some of that sleepy-time stuff that Bárbara from MEPS used to put in her husband's drink. Ah well.

Candy continues to stall, plying the old geezer with cognac and soft music. She offers to tell him a secret. "But my bedroom is filled with flowers," he protests feebly.

Vins and Pancho agree that Candy is under duress and that they have to help her. Everyone is a little freaked to realize that Pancho and Vins are finally on the same side of something.

Candy's big secret for Napoleon is that she's in love with Vicente. Nap promises that in time, she'll come to love him as well. She reminds him that she's there against her will and asks him to be patient. Fortunately, he agrees.

Vice tells Pina and Fred that he's going to put guards on everyone. He'll put like five of them on Meli. They'll be all over the property. Pina is really POed when Vice admits that it's because of Candy that Napoleon (he has to clarify it's not THAT Napoleon) is threatening them. Furious, she tells Vice to stay away from the house.

Lupita visits Alex's grave with a little box of mementos. "Our relationship went very quickly, but it's also true that I loved you with all my strength, wanted to have a home and family at your side, wanted to make you very happy, but destiny didn't give us a chance. The day of our wedding, I was left without your love. Then I found out that you knew our union wouldn't be forever. I don't blame you for that, you did it for love; and for the love and respect that we had, I came to give you your belongings and put you to rest. Today it's clear to me that life must continue. Goodbye, Alex." (Waaah!)

Pancho and Fernanda prepare to take La Burra to Avon. Chela gives Pancho a blessing and a kiss. Fernanda looks ready to gag.

El Tanque visits Tomás's bedside. Tom's face is a lot better now that it doesn't look like a plate of ground beef. He's feeling better. Tank says his kids came to visit. Tom's glad. If his own dad had been unjustly thrown in jail, he'd have wanted to visit him, too. Next time the gang threatens him, he wants to be able to fight them off.

In La Burra, Pancho remembers the uncomfortable elevator ride and Rebeca saying that she and Sunkist were leaving as soon as the merger was signed. The memory is so upsetting it makes him sneeze. Sensing his thoughts, Fernanda tells him it would be a big mistake to let Rebeca leave.

Rebeca meets Sunkist for a restaurant breakfast. She's reading (or more likely re-re-re-re-reading) her letter of resignation. She explains why she went back to work for Fernanda in the first place: to help Pancho as the new president of Avon. It wasn't easy. "No pain, no gain," Sunkist quips in English. Shut up, Mike. Don't speak my language and I won't speak Oompa Loompa.

Pancho tells Fernanda that Rebeca's the one who's making the mistake by running away with Mike. Fernanda also expresses dismay over his relationship with Chela. (Where the heck has Laurita's Flame of Disapproval been lately, anyway? That'd be helpful!) She says he's with Chela for all the wrong reasons. Pancho disagrees. They're the same kind of people. He has nothing in common with Rebeca. Fernanda acknowledges that being with Chela solves a lot of problems for Pancho, but by choosing her, he's doing the same thing Rebeca is doing. Chela doesn't deserve that.

Arnold visits Pina in her office. (He glances at Celeste's legs a little too long as she leaves.) Arnold pauses for a kiss that doesn't happen.

In the office, Pancho and Fernanda read Rebeca's resignation. "The show must go on," Pancho says.

Alone in the boardroom, Rebeca and Sunkist anticipate the finalization of the merger. Lambi arrives in a cheerful mood at first, then in typical Lambi fashion, worries that some unforeseen development will lay waste to all their hard work. (It's as if he's the only one who realizes they're in a telenovela.)

Pina tells Arnold that she likes him, but she's not ready to be a couple. She emphasizes repeatedly that she values his friendship. He eventually gets the message and seems to slip into a catatonic state.

Finally it's time to sign off on the merger. "Rebeca te amo," Pancho doodles on his notepad. He can't stop thinking about all the advice that Fernanda and Lupita gave him. But he signs the papers. Vice and Sunkist cheer. Rebeca looks nauseated. Pina says she's grateful to have witnessed such an important merger. Mike acknowledges her recent loss. He thanks Pancho and says maybe this will be the last time they meet. "Thank God," Pancho mutters. Mike doesn't hear him. Pancho musters up some pleasantries, and they hug.

Rebeca congratulates Pancho. They share a tender embrace.

Lupita, Ana, and Pepe visit Carla under house arrest. They tell her about their friend Tom, the orphan, who got shanked in jail after signing a confession to protect his sister. "I don't know why you're telling me all this," she protests unconvincingly.

At Avon, Fernanda asks Rebe if she's sure. She thanks her for all her help and says she's sorry things are turning out so badly. Rebe thanks Fernanda.

Lidia tells Sunkist she's not going back to Miami. Pancho offers her a job working for Enzo at Avon. (I can't help thinking that this is a very stupid idea, not only to have her reporting to her rebounding boyfriend but also to offer her the position without discussing it with Enzo first. But what do I know?)

Pancho wishes Rebeca luck. Sunkist wants to leave. Rebe stares at Pancho a little too long.

The kids tell Carla they already know she was at the hotel that night, that she put something in the drinks and went into the room. They try to guilt her into exonerating Tom.

Candy joins her patient captor for breakfast. He offers her eggs any way she likes: poached, Benedict, rancheros. She wants fruit. He says she can have any kind she wants; kiwi, watermelon, lychee... and he wants to get her a stylist, from any country she wants: France, Italy, Belgium. This guy sure likes lists. He wants her to be the height of fashion. She can have whatever she wants. He starts her off with a sparkly pearl-and-diamond necklace, the kind of thing that she would love under any other circumstances.

Vins offers to accompany Pina to Yuyu's funeral.

Fernanda is disappointed that Pancho, who normally fights for what he wants, let Rebeca go. He says something about liking suntans that I don't get. She repeats that he's with Chela out of spite. He's stubborn about it and says he needs to get out of the office and into some fresh air. Fer says she still loves him. She's just thinking of his happiness. He's grateful.

Ana, Pepe, and Lupita return from Carla's and are surprised to see all the guards around Fred's house. Fred has to call the guards off repeatedly as he rehashes with Ana & Co. He's on his way to the funeral. Ana offers to go with, but Fred thinks Moms wouldn't appreciate that.

Ana asks him what he decided about UCLA. He says they can talk about that later. Sigh. But I wanna know now! (That was me, not Ana. I'm not as patient as she is.) They "te amo" each other as he leaves. Pepe gently mocks.

At Avon, Arnold goes crying to Rebe about Pina. Hmm, I would have thought she'd be speeding away on an airplane by now. He's sad that Rebe's leaving him, too, and it's all his fault for talking her into going with Sunkist. She says he can come visit her whenever he likes.

At the funeral home, Pina says she can't get over it. Vins tries to comfort her. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you, Vicente." Fred tells Meli they're hermanos. She blinks back painful tears.

Candy is getting measured for a new dress by a man wearing too much makeup. She tells Chela on the phone that it's okay. Chela says Vice was there to talk to Pancho. Candy insists it will all be fine.

Lidia tells Enzo she can't wait to start working for him. She's going to have to move out of the hotel though and get an apartment. He suggests she not throw her money away, but invest it instead... "we" can buy a place together. Kisses. Ugh. STOP IT!! He carries her to the bedroom.

Carla's at the police station. The guy calls in a witness. She continues to be defiant until she sees and seems to recognize the hotel employee. He certainly recognizes her. As a manager, it's his job to pay attention to things, and he noticed her hiding behind a column in the restaurant. She was wearing sunglasses and gloves. And another employee told him she asked for the key card to her husband's room to meet him up there.

Carla calls him a liar, denies everything, and goes bananas. The police detective offers her another chance to tell the truth.

Elena visits Tom in the prison hospital, bare-handed, and begs his forgiveness.

That would have been a nice place to stop, but there is one more scene.

Pancho goes to the vegetable market and tells Chacho he doesn't want Rebeca to leave. Chacho stands dumbfounded with lollipop in midair. He must be wondering the same as the rest of us: what does Pancho think Chacho can do about it?

Next time:
A fiesta. Chela gushes to Temo about how much she'd like to marry Pancho. Later, Chela shrieks "NEVER!!!!" to Pancho. Maybe he asked her to come to bed in one of her old aprons.